Shellshocked

To LKC who has moved to Scotland.

I just wondered are you living in Alloa? I've seen some beautiful houses there very reasonably priced but the commute on the train to Edinburgh where I work seems very long. Are u in a similar positions?

i would say value what you have now in the here and now and count your blessings.

Sent you a private message.

Thanks for that. At the moment my claim is going through the courts but the waiting time is endless. Having already spent a fortune on solicitors costs I have to try and weigh up whether I am going to get anywhere. It is so unjust as at the same time I have to obey contact times.

I know I've already posted this under R.E.M.O. I am desperate to know whether it is possible to enforce a claim for child maintence from the uk to Australia. Has anyone successfully managed to do this. If anyone wants further details I can do so in a private message.

Does anyone have experience of claiming child maintenance from Australia. My ex in Australia refuses to pay.

Very difficult from the Uk. My husband was ordered by the UK court to pay full divorce costs. He simply ignores all requests and for me to pursue this in the Australian court could cost me thousands. Meanwhile costs are mounting because this has been going on for so long.

Like to leave this now and ask for no further posts on it. It has simply awoken old hurts for me.

Exactly why I wrote it, because most people are unaware of the Hague. I also find some comfort in knowing that there are other people out there who have experienced similar. I was never subject to physical violence but mental torture and harassment on a daily basis which totally destroyed my confidnece

I have a very good ex[planation for this but would prefer to do it in a private message.

Believe me this is the watered down version for the sake of brevity. I can't escape the nightmare because a small child is involved. I am grateful that i didn't give into pressure and return to Oz as I would have been trapped there as I would never have left my daughter. Divorce is another nightmare when one party is in England and one in Oz and when one party will not accept any responsibility.

I know this is quite an old thread but I only just found it. i posted it originally as a response to a sticky. Emigrating is a massive decision and most people seem unaware or the problems which can ensue and programmes like Wanyed Down Under don't really help It struck an immediate cord with me. I met and fell in love with an Australian while he was working in the Uk. We married in Australia but returned to the Uk where he was under a contract with work and on a very good income. I knew his wish to return to live in Australia one day and I was willing to give it a go. However I immediatel fell pregnant and had an horrendous pregnancy followed by a traumatic birth which caused internal damage. I then had postnatal depression and was a few months later diagnosed with M.E. Things started to go wrong with his job and during the next 3 years we moved house three times to the other side of the country and to Germany for a short while all in order to further his career. I became increasing I'll, depressed and suffering from anxiety. At one period I was practically bedridden for about 4 months and struggled through everyday with the help of yes my husband hut also my own family who in rota came to live with us. I did gradually improve but was still suffering from M.E and depression. My husband decided it was time for us to return to Australia and foolishly I agreed as I craved stability in my life and thought that a better climate would help with M.E. Once in Australia we lived with in laws in a very small overcrowded house which basically need total renovation. My husband was out all day doing casual work and looking at work .I was home with my small child and I tried very hard to settle going out each day to play, groups libraries beach etc. Again I became very ill, felt so isolated and found that family support just did not exist even though we lived in the same house as my in laws. My husband found it very hard to get a permanent job and despite living rent free we were using our saving just to exist. During this time we had many discussions about returning home where I knew family support was readily available and where I knew I would be able to work once my health improved. I couldn't work in Oz because my professional qualifications weren't sufficient there and I didn't have a visa at that stage. It was decided that I would return to the uk for 3 months with my child look for work and my husband would put everything into both looking for work in the uk and Oz. Back in the UK I immediately started to feel better. My family gave an enormous amount of support and I quickly found part time work in my profession. I asked my husband to cut our losses and return to the uk but he refused said it was too soon and I hadn't tried for long enough. He then eventually promised to return in 6 months when he had updated his skills and tied up loose ends. However he put me under daily pressure to return accused me of not thinking of our child and if being as ill as I wanted to be. After 8 months during which it became totally obvious he had no intention of returning he accused me of child abduction through The Hague. I was very lucky as 2 days before my court appearance he agreed to mediation. The whole process has cost me over 12000 in fees and he hasn't had to pay a penny. I am legally bound to certain conditions regarding visits to Australia. Cost wise they are unsustainable and take a huge toll on health. I took my little child in the summer to see her dad left her there crying with dad for a month and returned home. I returned with shingles and had to take a month off work . Thankfully my daughter was returned to me but there have been so many repercussions .

I know this is quite an old thread but I only just found it. It struck an immediate cord with me. I met and fell in love with an Australian while he was working in the Uk. We married in Australia but returned to the Uk where he was under a contract with work and on a very good income. I knew his wish to return to live in Australia one day and I was willing to give it a go. However I immediatel fell pregnant and had an horrendous pregnancy followed by a traumatic birth which caused internal damage. I then had postnatal depression and was a few months later diagnosed with M.E. Things started to go wrong with his job and during the next 3 years we moved house three times to the other side of the country and to Germany for a short while all in order to further his career. I became increasing I'll, depressed and suffering from anxiety. At one period I was practically bedridden for about 4 months and struggled through everyday with the help of yes my husband hut also my own family who in rota came to live with us. I did gradually improve but was still suffering from M.E and depression. My husband decided it was time for us to return to Australia and foolishly I agreed as I craved stability in my life and thought that a better climate would help with M.E. Once in Australia we lived with in laws in a very small overcrowded house which basically need total renovation. My husband was out all day doing casual work and looking at work .I was home with my small child and I tried very hard to settle going out each day to play, groups libraries beach etc. Again I became very ill, felt so isolated and found that family support just did not exist even though we lived in the same house as my in laws. My husband found it very hard to get a permanent job and despite living rent free we were using our saving just to exist. During this time we had many discussions about returning home where I knew family support was readily available and where I knew I would be able to work once my health improved. I couldn't work in Oz because my professional qualifications weren't sufficient there and I didn't have a visa at that stage. It was decided that I would return to the uk for 3 months with my child look for work and my husband would put everything into both looking for work in the uk and Oz. Back in the UK I immediately started to feel better. My family gave an enormous amount of support and I quickly found part time work in my profession. I asked my husband to cut our losses and return to the uk but he refused said it was too soon and I hadn't tried for long enough. He then eventually promised to return in 6 months when he had updated his skills and tied up loose ends. However he put me under daily pressure to return accused me of not thinking of our child and if being as ill as I wanted to be. After 8 months during which it became totally obvious he had no intention of returning he accused me of child abduction through The Hague. I was very lucky as 2 days before my court appearance he agreed to mediation. The whole process has cost me over 12000 in fees and he hasn't had to pay a penny. I am legally bound to certain conditions regarding visits to Australia. Cost wise they are unsustainable and take a huge toll on health. I took my little child in the summer to see her dad left her there crying with dad for a month and returned home. I returned with shingles and had to take a month off work . Thankfully my daughter was returned to me but there have been so many repercussions .

My grandson missed the first term in reception . He was also a late August birthday. We found the school to be excellent in offering extra support and his mum did a huge amount of work with him at home. He's doing fine despite missing that term and huge turmoil in his life as Dad is Australian and refuses to return to the Uk. Many broken promises .