Contribution to household...HELP!!!

[Elizabeth]

Hey there,

Looking for a wee bit of advice. Staying with my sister and the family have asked for some lodgings. There are 4 of us, 2 adults and 2 kids. We buy our own food and they said they are not looking for money for accommodation but are leaving it too us to work out how much we should give. Obviously just landing here we don't have a clue as to what cost of gas, elec and water would be like. It is to cover 5 weeks. Could anyone help out with an accurate figure we should offer as don't want to offend them by giving too little but every penny counts for settling. Ta.

[The Pom Queen]

Seems a bit too much when it's family, especially if you are buying your own food. We have family stay for 3 months and don't ask them to pay for bills/food etc. Don't get me wrong our bills do go up when we have guests but not by that much. Just give them a $100 voucher when you leave

[Elizabeth]

Finding things very hard the now, I think it would have been easier if we had just booked into short term accommodation. I think it would cause a riot if I just handed them a voucher lol. I was thinking in the region of $300 dollars but don't want too cause upset if they think its an insult. Possible more??? Thanks for your reply moving to melbourne.

[The Pom Queen]

You could always say to her you will pay the difference on the utility bills to what it was the same period last year, although saying that the prices have just gone up on ours. To be honest I would try and secure your long term rental as fast as possible.

[CXW]

I stayed with my partner's cousin for 3 weeks while I sorted out my rental and got a similar response when I brought up making a contribution. In the end it was a question of paying in kind where possible (getting the beer for a family barbecue, for example) and then I got her husband a magazine subscription to say thank you. Once my partner gets here in a couple of weeks things will be a bit more reciprocal as I suspect she'll be babysitting for them.

[Rupert]

I wouldn't expect family to pay me for bills if they came to stay although I would hope that they would buy food, especially for four of them for five weeks, which you are already so it really is a very tricky question.

Are they short of cash? Do they have room for you or is it all a bit of a squash? Did they invite you or did you invite yourselves? I think perhaps you need to consider the answers to those questions before deciding what would be appropriate. I would also think about moving on quite quickly anyway, it will be more comfortable for all of you.

[Elizabeth]

Thanks for your replys. I was looking at short term accom and they insisted I stay with them. I don't just buy our meals but for all of us and cook. I wouldn't dream of using what they had bought as it was made clear we were to shop for ourselves which is fair enough. We do the kindness thing with beer wine household stuff and took them all for a meal so I think it is just for gas water and elec. Working on a rental. Not short of money- earn a fortune. It is fair enough if they want lodge but just don't know what to offer.

[purpleal]

Hi Elizabeth,
Personally, I think their request is a bit cheeky, especially as they are family and they insisted you stay with them instead of going into short term accomodation. My sister stayed with us when she arrived and we didnt ask for anything, we even paid for her food. After about 3 months, we decided that it would be nice if her stay with us could be permanent - she then started paying rent of about $70 a week including all bills and food.
I am not sure where you are, but I thought I would give you an indication of what our quarterly bills are for a 4 bedroom townhouse in Sydney - will give you an idea of what they are spending on the utilities they are expecting you to contribute towards. You may find that your 'not wanting to insult them amount' is almost the same amount of of what their bills are - no fairness in that either!
Water usage PER QUARTER about $80 (total bill is about $260 per quarter, but this is for sewerage etc, which is what they would have to pay anyway, regardless of water usage).
Electric PER QUARTER is about $450 but we are a family of 5 and I use the dishwasher, washer and dryer once/twice EVERY day.
I dont have Gas at the moment, but did at my old house and this was very cheap, about $100 per quarter from memory.
Telephone Telstra Landline - about $60 a month.

Other things, such as internet, TV/Foxtel etc I would definitly not include in any contributions, as these things are set and they wouldnt be spending anymore/less than they would if you werent with them.

Hope this helps,

Purp

[ozindublin]

Oh dear... if the shoe was on the other foot, and I asked my brother/sister to stay with me, I wouldn't have expected anything at all... and would be overly thrilled with having my meals cooked for me (after arguing about it!), and a meal out, plus beer & wine (wow & wow). I just can't understand why they would ask for more money, they should have set this out when they offered the accommodation. But rather than have a row about it, have a think about how much you would be paying in short term accommodation (its expensive in Perth), I'd offer a $100 per week. Its just not very nice, can't be very comfortable when your doing so much for them, and clearly not taking advantage, and over staying your welcome... don't they remember when they first came over?

[The Pom Queen]

I wish our rellies would cook for us, I'd even provide the food lol.