Cost of therapist

[crackerjack]

Hi all, hope you're all well.

 

I won't go into my history, some of you may remember I lost a court case to stop my ex emigrating to Australia in 2012 with my kids. Two days ago my daughter send me this message, 'heya dad, so this year mum and Nige had a million and one expenses to be paid due to a course I'm doing which is close to $1000 and a load of school trips that are $300 each. I was just wondering if you were willing to pay for my therapist? Mum and Nige said they cant keep paying for me to see her due to everything else they are paying for,and i really don't want to stop seeing her since she's helping me so much. Is that something you would be willing to do? Love you lots, Hannah xx

 

Ok so here's why I'm posting. Does anyone know how much this would cost? I've asked for the therapists details to discuss it with her direct, but have not been given these as yet and suspect I won't be given them as I believe my ex will want me to pay her direct (and I also doubt it will go on a therapist).

 

Does anyone have a ball park cost for a fifteen year old to see a therapist?

 

Thanks

 

ps. This is a psychologist we are talking about.

Edited February 26, 2015 by crackerjack

[Quoll]

There are psychologists in schools who are free. There are psychologists in Head Space centres who are free. Ball park $120-150ph for private psychs but permanent residents may have that subsidised by Medicare if it's part of a mental health plan. Direct payment to the therapist would definitely be the way to go! You may find that the school counsellor in your daughter's school is aware of her therapist and if you have parental access with the school (you can ask for reports, newsletters etc even if you are overseas!) they may tell you. It's not a cheap process though and you do have to wonder at a psych who keeps clients hanging on for a long time (private clients are a good cash cow for some) so you could put a limit on how many sessions you are prepared to fund.

[crackerjack]

Hi Quoll, how's things with you? Thanks for your reply. That's very helpful. I can't think why they wouldn't get Medicare as they have permanent residency and their step dads got some health issues. I suspect this is just a way of getting some money out of me. My ex hates that the court stipulated that maintenance goes on my daughters flights to the UK, as well as my visit to Brisbane last year, so now I've asked for the therapists contact details, I'll be amazed if I get them. I asked for them two days ago and have not received them yet. I am in contact with the school and do get reports, and my daughter is really struggling. When she first moved I asked the school about counselling and they said it was available, but my daughter didn't want it with that particular person. Maybe the head space thing will be a good compromise if they don't qualify for Medicare for some reason.

[LKC]

It has been a while, so I can't remember the exact figures, but I think we used to pay about $150 per visit for a private psychologist for our eldest. She was referred under a mental health care plan from the GP, which meant that the first ten visits were subsidised by Medicare (they paid about half if I remember correctly), but after the ten sessions were up we had to pay privately. Having said that, she didn't go for too long because her psychologist worked really hard to get her to the point that she didn't need any further visits. She was receiving treatment for OCD and also has a mild autism spectrum disorder.

[crackerjack]

Hi there LKC, thanks for the info. I'm glad the psychologist was of benefit to your daughter and I hope she's thriving now. I am hoping my daughter will get a lot out of it too. She first told me she was going last September. She has been through so much with the move and the loss of so many loved ones. And she'd really struggling at school which gets her down. Can I just ask, do the ten subsidised sessions fit within a certain timeframe, eg, new year to new year, or April to April?

[Quoll]

Psych services are only subsidised by Medicare if they are initiated by a GP as part of a mental health plan AFAIK so if therapy is initiated privately they pay the lot. Appointments would generally be weekly or fortnightly but stringing a client along for months is a bit questionable. As LKC said, the idea is to get the kids functioning well within the time frame of the mental health plan. Moving forward is the aim and a GP would look at other options if the program doesn't seem to be leading to improvements. I hope your daughter is really benefitting and coming out of the gloom. It's very tricky at that age especially if things aren't going well at school.

[starlight7]

Wow crackerjack- its a bit of a can of worms isn't it? I would have thought it would be free at that age. Is it definitely money for therapy or ex pulling a swiftie? Can you actually talk to your daughter to get the circumstances? Maybe I'm overly suspicious but from the outside it looks a bit, well, suss.

[Que Sera Sera]

Wow crackerjack- its a bit of a can of worms isn't it? I would have thought it would be free at that age. Is it definitely money for therapy or ex pulling a swiftie? Can you actually talk to your daughter to get the circumstances? Maybe I'm overly suspicious but from the outside it looks a bit, well, suss.

I've had an ex and two teenage daughters living elsewhere so can agree it sounds a bit unusual, plus does the message sound like its worded from your daughter? If so I can't see why she'd be struggling at school with that well worded message. How old is she?

[crackerjack]

Thanks again Quoll, great points and plenty of food for thought. She will have been seeing this therapist for six months now which seems a long time. She told me she is seeing her for anxiety but in all honesty I don't know what she's seeing her for, and to address your question Starlight, I hardly ever talk to my daughter. I do try but it's very difficult to pin her down. She has admitted recently her mum had her FB password for the past two years, but even though she says she doesn't any more, I have my doubts. And even when we do Skype she never wears head phones so I know everything I say can be overheard, and her mum frequently shouts out for her to get out of her room (her mums room has the best reception.) thanks for your input by the way. Que Sera (thanks for your reply) I am deeply suspicious also. I often doubt whether messages are from my daughter (who is 15 by the way) or my ex, which is horrible, but she's got me over a barrel on this. If I say I won't pay, my ex will get a lot of mileage out if it, telling my daughter I don't love her enough to help out. If I go on holiday later in the year, she'll point to this as further example of my skewed priorities. That's why I have asked for the therapists contact details. But I still haven't heard anything back. I have been asked for money before (see below) but as you will see I said no. I think that's why she's got my daughter to ask this time, Frankly I can't wait till my daughters 18.

Edited February 27, 2015 by crackerjack

[Que Sera Sera]

Speaking fro experience it doesnt get much better after 18, 20 or even flipping 22! Anyway with that little bit of optimism out the way try to be careful what you post on here. I've had my fingers burnt with my EX and this, I would definately insist that you will pay this councillor direct. Can't see why they would have a problem with that.

Edited February 27, 2015 by Que Sera, Sera

[crackerjack]

Thanks Que Sera, I might just go and string myself up after that. Joking. No as soon as my daughters 18 I will block my ex. I may not have a relationship with my daughter or son by then, but I will feel I did my best to stay involved, paying for them to come over every year since they moved and going over there. I know my ex slags me off to my kids. My daughter left herself logged in on FB on my phone when she was visiting in December and there's my ex telling my daughter I don't contribute enough, as well as telling her the real Xmas tree she'd chosen with us which my daughter had photographed to send her, looked like ****. She's a deeply poisonous woman. Once my youngest is 18 I will have served my time. Ps. After reading your message I tried to remove the emails but can't figure out how....:chatterbox:

[Que Sera Sera]

Thanks Que Sera, I might just go and string myself up after that. Joking. No as soon as my daughters 18 I will block my ex. I may not have a relationship with my daughter or son by then, but I will feel I did my best to stay involved, paying for them to come over every year since they moved and going over there. I know my ex slags me off to my kids. My daughter left herself logged in on FB on my phone when she was visiting in December and there's my ex telling my daughter I don't contribute enough, as well as telling her the real Xmas tree she'd chosen with us which my daughter had photographed to send her, looked like ****. She's a deeply poisonous woman. Once my youngest is 18 I will have served my time. Ps. After reading your message I tried to remove the emails but can't figure out how....:chatterbox:

It's all a fairly long time ago for me now, but just hang on in there. When they are older they do make up their own mind regardless of what poison has been peddled. Just try and keep sane and take a lot of requests, demands with a huge pinch of salt.

[crackerjack]

Thanks for the encouragement Que Sera. I hope things are ok with you and your kids now.

Last August I had an artery burst in my neck, just from a cough. I had excruciating head pain, which I still get from time to time, my eyelid drooped and my pupil wouldn't react and I was very lucky not to stroke, or even die (I always used to joke my ex would give me an anna-rysm). It made me realise life is short and unpredictable and I have to value all that's wonderful in my life, like my beautiful wife and family. I don't think my heart will ever stop being sad for these lost years with my children, but I am starting to move on at last. It'sthings like this request for money, and all the suspicion and doubt it instills in me, that sets me back.

[Guest The Pom Queen]

Thanks Que Sera, I might just go and string myself up after that. Joking. No as soon as my daughters 18 I will block my ex. I may not have a relationship with my daughter or son by then, but I will feel I did my best to stay involved, paying for them to come over every year since they moved and going over there. I know my ex slags me off to my kids. My daughter left herself logged in on FB on my phone when she was visiting in December and there's my ex telling my daughter I don't contribute enough, as well as telling her the real Xmas tree she'd chosen with us which my daughter had photographed to send her, looked like ****. She's a deeply poisonous woman. Once my youngest is 18 I will have served my time. Ps. After reading your message I tried to remove the emails but can't figure out how....:chatterbox:

Hi Crackerjack, I have removed your emails so don't stress.

To be honest it sounds very dodgy. I have never had a specialist charge me $300 for an appointment and I've seen many. The most is $200 then you get some back from medicare. Like Que Sera has said she can get a plan from the Dr, or the schools have counsellors that are great for the kids and don't cost anything.

Re the braces costs of $7,500 they are correct unfortunately. If you do want to pay anything ask for the consultants name and address and say you will pay direct, if your daughter asks for anything make sure you buy it yourself that way you know she is getting it.

[Que Sera Sera]

Aw keep positive. Nothing is forever. I have an amazing relationship with my girls now. I'm a Grandmother now and the eldest is coming to visit next week with my Grandaughter. Myself and my new family now live in Australia too, all be it on the other side. Never close your eyes to opportunity , never shut doors because one day they may just open back up again. Good luck.

[crackerjack]

Pom queen thanks so much for taking away my stress as well as offering up some thoughtful advise. Definitely dealing with the therapist direct is the way to go. I also might try to point my daughter in the direction of free counselling, either through the school or the head space centres. When you take the profit motive out of it you can at least be confident the therapist doesn't have an underlying desire to keep you stuck. My ex moved to Australia claiming it would make them better off financially (over here they were very comfortable too, on a joint income of 62k, living in a six bedroom house in Surrey), so its a bit galling to be asked for extras when we are living on half their income in a house half the size. When my step daughter also 15, asked if she could go on a trip abroad with the school we had to say no, but now I'm fretting about finding money for a therapist because my daughter is sent on every expensive school trip going. Still, I'm getting more dubious as each day goes by that this therapist exists, because my daughter hasn't got back to me with her contact details, so this whole situation may be moot.

 

Que Sera, I'm going to try to keep my chin up and be as positive for my kids as I can be. Maybe one day when they are older they will see how wrong it was for their mum to run me down in that way. But even if they don't, I have a good life here, with so many things to look forward to. So glad things worked out for you.

[blossom]

The time frame for the 10 appointments covered by Medicare is a full year from the ones before. It's crazy that they place so little importance on mental health.

And yes, there are free alternatives.

 

Now, I'm sure you might have considered this, but 15 is quite a self centred and devious age. It could be that the message was from your daughter in the hope of scoring a bit of pocket money. She might not even be going to councilling any more, but figured it was something you knew she was going to. She could be being quiet as she hadn't considered you might ask for their details.

 

Also, I'd be surprised if she's had loads of $300 school trips. And if she did, why has her mum said yes to them all? In the end, if you can't afford to help out more with the counciling, then she shouldn't be trying to guilt trip you into it if her mum chose school activities over her mental health. She obviously didn't think the counciling was that important.

[crackerjack]

The time frame for the 10 appointments covered by Medicare is a full year from the ones before. It's crazy that they place so little importance on mental health.

And yes, there are free alternatives.

 

Now, I'm sure you might have considered this, but 15 is quite a self centred and devious age. It could be that the message was from your daughter in the hope of scoring a bit of pocket money. She might not even be going to councilling any more, but figured it was something you knew she was going to. She could be being quiet as she hadn't considered you might ask for their details.

 

Also, I'd be surprised if she's had loads of $300 school trips. And if she did, why has her mum said yes to them all? In the end, if you can't afford to help out more with the counciling, then she shouldn't be trying to guilt trip you into it if her mum chose school activities over her mental health. She obviously didn't think the counciling was that important.

 

hi Blossom. Great point. It could be my daughters idea. Its so hard to know. It may be a combination of both, my ex saying I don't contribute enough and then my daughter latching on to it. Or it might just be my ex. She's more than capable. Its Saturday now and since I asked for the contact details on Wednesday I've not heard a peep. My daughter usually snap chats me every day, but I've not had any the last three days. Its horrible now because I don't know what to do next. Do I push for the therapists details? Suggest the free options? Wait for her to contact me? Deep down I knew this wasn't about money for a therapist and its horrible to be proved right.

[Murta]

not sure of your circumstances and how this all happened for you....but no child here can be referred or accepted into therapy without the parents consent. can u not ask your child the therapists name?

[crackerjack]

not sure of your circumstances and how this all happened for you....but no child here can be referred or accepted into therapy without the parents consent. can u not ask your child the therapists name?

hi Murta. Thanks for your reply. I asked my daughter for the therapists name on Wednesday and have as yet received no reply. I am growing increasingly dubious the money was for the therapist.

[docboat]

I am a GP. When I refer, I do a mental health care plan, and refer to a psychologist. You get a number of free sessions, or subsidised, but that quickly runs out. I have a problem with psychologists in general, in that many of them are plainly loopy. I love psychology, but am careful about which psychologists I refer to, as I find that some patients have the psychologists own problems compounded into their own issues. So simply getting a name is, for me, less happy - I like to get feedback from the patient. How is this helping you? Are you on the same page, do you feel you are getting the right "vibes" from this person?

 

It may be that there is a game going on with the psychologist, who needs a steady source of income - see me in 2 weeks and we will continue. The psychological issues become permanent.

 

Finding a psychologist could be as simple as checking with the Medicare Local for her area. But you still will be half a world away from getting real information. It will not simply be a matter of "how much" but "who" and "why" and "is it helping" - and you are going to be cut off from that.

 

Might I suggest that you try reversing the problem. Suggest that you are happy yo pay for a school trip. Get the school to liaise with you, and you can see what kind of expenses she is really incurring from school trips. If you go with paying for a psychologist, you are really condemning yourself to being out of control. Managing the expenses for school trips puts you in control. Your ex will hate the idea.

[Quoll]

I am a GP. When I refer, I do a mental health care plan, and refer to a psychologist. You get a number of free sessions, or subsidised, but that quickly runs out. I have a problem with psychologists in general, in that many of them are plainly loopy. I love psychology, but am careful about which psychologists I refer to, as I find that some patients have the psychologists own problems compounded into their own issues. So simply getting a name is, for me, less happy - I like to get feedback from the patient. How is this helping you? Are you on the same page, do you feel you are getting the right "vibes" from this person?

 

It may be that there is a game going on with the psychologist, who needs a steady source of income - see me in 2 weeks and we will continue. The psychological issues become permanent.

 

Finding a psychologist could be as simple as checking with the Medicare Local for her area. But you still will be half a world away from getting real information. It will not simply be a matter of "how much" but "who" and "why" and "is it helping" - and you are going to be cut off from that.

 

Might I suggest that you try reversing the problem. Suggest that you are happy yo pay for a school trip. Get the school to liaise with you, and you can see what kind of expenses she is really incurring from school trips. If you go with paying for a psychologist, you are really condemning yourself to being out of control. Managing the expenses for school trips puts you in control. Your ex will hate the idea.

 

Very good points! Apparently the counselling has been going on for 6 months in which case one wonders whether your second para here encapsulates that perfectly!

 

When end I was training, one of our lecturers (and I concur, plainly loopy!) was extolling the value of her therapy having strung a client along for 18 months with weekly visits! Talk about a cash cow, and she is not alone, I know! I would be very wary of a therapist who wanted beyond the 10 sessions and if a client became so dependent that they thought they needed more than the 10 then a prime goal would be to work in breaking that dependence.

[crackerjack]

I am a GP. When I refer, I do a mental health care plan, and refer to a psychologist. You get a number of free sessions, or subsidised, but that quickly runs out. I have a problem with psychologists in general, in that many of them are plainly loopy. I love psychology, but am careful about which psychologists I refer to, as I find that some patients have the psychologists own problems compounded into their own issues. So simply getting a name is, for me, less happy - I like to get feedback from the patient. How is this helping you? Are you on the same page, do you feel you are getting the right "vibes" from this person?

 

It may be that there is a game going on with the psychologist, who needs a steady source of income - see me in 2 weeks and we will continue. The psychological issues become permanent.

 

Finding a psychologist could be as simple as checking with the Medicare Local for her area. But you still will be half a world away from getting real information. It will not simply be a matter of "how much" but "who" and "why" and "is it helping" - and you are going to be cut off from that.

 

Might I suggest that you try reversing the problem. Suggest that you are happy yo pay for a school trip. Get the school to liaise with you, and you can see what kind of expenses she is really incurring from school trips. If you go with paying for a psychologist, you are really condemning yourself to being out of control. Managing the expenses for school trips puts you in control. Your ex will hate the idea.

 

Great idea doc. Thanks. I will give that a try!

[starlight7]

Funny about the loopy. My daughter is a psychologist who is now training to be a teacher for the reasons you stated- she found a lot of the people she worked with ( the 'professionals') had their own issues and came to the conclusion some were doing more harm than good ! Not that that was her only reason for the change, but it was a contributing factor.