Just for fun, what's the most useless thing you can say to anyone in any circumstances?
Here's two to get you started...
To someone going on holiday: 'Are you going anywhere nice?' Erm no, we thought we'd give Iraq a go this year
To someone who has had bad news: 'You know where we are if you need us' (my translation: 'And that's the last you'll be hearing from us on that subject, then.')
What expressions make your toes curl when you hear them?