Joke cake or bed ?

Stuju · 31-08-2008, 12:44 AM

CAKE OR BED
A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A
FOOTBALL MATCH WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,

'HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.'
HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,
'FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE 'POWERGEN' WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!'

'FINE!'

THEN THE WIFE ASKS,
'WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT'

TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
'FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE 'FRIDGIDAIRE'
WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!'

'FINE!' SHE SAYS
'THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS
TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK'

'I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T
WANT TO FIX STEPS', HE SAYS, 'DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE 'TAYLOR WOODROW' WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS, I'M GOING TO THE PUB!!!!'

SO HE GOES TO THE PUB AND DRINKS FOR A
COUPLE OF HOURS................

HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW
HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES
TO GO HOME

AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES
THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.

AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE , HE SEES THE
HALL LIGHT IS WORKING

AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES
THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.

HONEY, HE ASKS, 'HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?'
SHE SAID, 'WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT
OUTSIDE AND CRIED. JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.
HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.'

HE SAID,
'SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?'

SHE REPLIED, 'HELLOOOOO.., DO YOU SEE 'MR KIPLING' WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!'

KazzE · 31-08-2008, 01:17 AM

I just read this one in my in box!

this one made me LOL

Two men are in a locker roomtaking a shower after class in Melbourne,when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his arse.

If you do not mind me saying,' stated the second, 'that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why don't you take it out?'

I regret I cannot', lamented the first man. 'It is permanently stuck in my arse.

'I do not understand,' said the other.
The first man says, 'I was walking along Russell Street and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in an Australian Flag attire with a white beard and Akubra hat came boiling out.

He said, 'I am Captain Aussie, the Genie. I can grant you one wish.'

I said, 'No ****?'

God Bless Australia

KazzE · 31-08-2008, 01:19 AM

oo are we being censored???

he said no poo or words to that effect LOL nearly ruined my joke!

julie2g1b · 31-08-2008, 01:48 AM

very good girls made me laugh keep them coming and karen i guess what it

should be so don't worry
will click your chicks

julie

KazzE · 31-08-2008, 11:32 PM

Laugh? I nearly peed my self

A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.

The bee said, 'What seems to be the problem?'

'I'm out of gas,' the man replied.
The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

'Try it now,' said one bee.

The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. 'Wow!' the man exclaimed, 'what did you put in my tank?'

The bee answered,

Wait for it.wait for it..........

You're just gonna love this.............

Stuju · 01-09-2008, 02:58 AM

Kazze

I can't see the answer !!!!!!!!!!
it's not there

moving2melbourne · 01-09-2008, 04:56 AM

Sob neither can I, talk about leaving us in suspense!!!

roma 1 · 01-09-2008, 08:41 AM

hi , i can't see the pic either but am enjoying this thread, thanks,
gail x
ps stuju, passed that bed joke ( as i checked my emails yesterday i think) to my friends and they are all passing it on to thier mates) so you might get it back again lol. xxx

Stuju · 01-09-2008, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by roma 1

hi , i can't see the pic either but am enjoying this thread, thanks,
gail x
ps stuju, passed that bed joke ( as i checked my emails yesterday i think) to my friends and they are all passing it on to thier mates) so you might get it back again lol. xxx

No worries Gail,

but if kazze dosent reply to the thread soon, im gonna have to pm her im in suspenders here waiting for the oucnh line to her joke !!!!!