Go Back   PomsInOz Forum > Forum > Lounge Room > Chewing the fat


Chewing the fat This forum is for all off topic conversations and general banter.
Please Note:- Abusive, racist and personal insults will not be tolerated


Joke cake or bed ?

This is a discussion on Joke cake or bed ? within the Chewing the fat forums, part of the Lounge Room category; CAKE OR BED A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL MATCH WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, 'HONEY, COULD YOU FIX ...

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 31-08-2008, 12:44 AM   #1 (permalink)
Stuju is
has no status.
* It has to be Purple *
 
Stuju's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: aug 06 Central Coast NSW
Posts: 3,095
Thanks: 33
Thanked 178 Times in 118 Posts
My Mood: Chatty
Stuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond repute
Talking Joke cake or bed ?

CAKE OR BED
A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A
FOOTBALL MATCH WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,

'HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.'
HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,
'FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE 'POWERGEN' WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!'

'FINE!'

THEN THE WIFE ASKS,
'WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT'

TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
'FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE 'FRIDGIDAIRE'
WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!'

'FINE!' SHE SAYS
'THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS
TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK'

'I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T
WANT TO FIX STEPS', HE SAYS, 'DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE 'TAYLOR WOODROW' WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS, I'M GOING TO THE PUB!!!!'

SO HE GOES TO THE PUB AND DRINKS FOR A
COUPLE OF HOURS................

HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW
HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES
TO GO HOME

AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES
THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.

AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE , HE SEES THE
HALL LIGHT IS WORKING


AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES
THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.

HONEY, HE ASKS, 'HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?'
SHE SAID, 'WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT
OUTSIDE AND CRIED. JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.
HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.'

HE SAID,
'SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?'

SHE REPLIED, 'HELLOOOOO.., DO YOU SEE 'MR KIPLING' WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!'

PSS International Removals
__________________
** Here There,Where Ever Be Happy**

Stuju is online now  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Partners
Moneycorp
Old 31-08-2008, 01:17 AM   #2 (permalink)
KazzE is
has no status.
Happy chick
 
KazzE's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Moonee Valley, Melbourne - Formerly Eastleigh, Hampshire
Posts: 1,431
Thanks: 12
Thanked 114 Times in 48 Posts
My Mood: Fine
KazzE is a splendid one to beholdKazzE is a splendid one to beholdKazzE is a splendid one to beholdKazzE is a splendid one to beholdKazzE is a splendid one to beholdKazzE is a splendid one to beholdKazzE is a splendid one to beholdKazzE is a splendid one to behold
I just read this one in my in box!

this one made me LOL

Two men are in a locker roomtaking a shower after class in Melbourne,when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his arse.


If you do not mind me saying,' stated the second, 'that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why don't you take it out?'

I regret I cannot', lamented the first man. 'It is permanently stuck in my arse.

'I do not understand,' said the other.
The first man says, 'I was walking along Russell Street and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in an Australian Flag attire with a white beard and Akubra hat came boiling out.
He said, 'I am Captain Aussie, the Genie. I can grant you one wish.'
I said, 'No ****?'
God Bless Australia
__________________
Visa - MODL 136 Childcare Coordinator
1st TRA application, Nov 06, as a Childcare Coordinator came back positive as Hairdresser so...........

TRA ack 20/03/ app 27/04/07
Visa lodged 14/05/07
PC back 10/07/07
visa ack 14/08/07
C O 26/09/07 (11/09/07)
meds arrived 22/10/07
VISAs granted 14/12/07
KazzE is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 31-08-2008, 01:19 AM   #3 (permalink)
KazzE is
has no status.
Happy chick
 
KazzE's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Moonee Valley, Melbourne - Formerly Eastleigh, Hampshire
Posts: 1,431
Thanks: 12
Thanked 114 Times in 48 Posts
My Mood: Fine
KazzE is a splendid one to beholdKazzE is a splendid one to beholdKazzE is a splendid one to beholdKazzE is a splendid one to beholdKazzE is a splendid one to beholdKazzE is a splendid one to beholdKazzE is a splendid one to beholdKazzE is a splendid one to behold
oo are we being censored???

he said no poo or words to that effect LOL nearly ruined my joke!
__________________
Visa - MODL 136 Childcare Coordinator
1st TRA application, Nov 06, as a Childcare Coordinator came back positive as Hairdresser so...........

TRA ack 20/03/ app 27/04/07
Visa lodged 14/05/07
PC back 10/07/07
visa ack 14/08/07
C O 26/09/07 (11/09/07)
meds arrived 22/10/07
VISAs granted 14/12/07
KazzE is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 31-08-2008, 01:48 AM   #4 (permalink)
julie2g1b is
has no status.
director chicken clickers
 
julie2g1b's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: swadlincote derbyshire
Posts: 1,404
Thanks: 30
Thanked 75 Times in 52 Posts
My Mood: Amused
julie2g1b has a reputation beyond reputejulie2g1b has a reputation beyond reputejulie2g1b has a reputation beyond reputejulie2g1b has a reputation beyond reputejulie2g1b has a reputation beyond reputejulie2g1b has a reputation beyond reputejulie2g1b has a reputation beyond reputejulie2g1b has a reputation beyond reputejulie2g1b has a reputation beyond reputejulie2g1b has a reputation beyond reputejulie2g1b has a reputation beyond repute
very good girls made me laugh keep them coming and karen i guess what it

should be so don't worry
will click your chicks

julie
julie2g1b is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 31-08-2008, 11:32 PM   #5 (permalink)
KazzE is
has no status.
Happy chick
 
KazzE's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Moonee Valley, Melbourne - Formerly Eastleigh, Hampshire
Posts: 1,431
Thanks: 12
Thanked 114 Times in 48 Posts
My Mood: Fine
KazzE is a splendid one to beholdKazzE is a splendid one to beholdKazzE is a splendid one to beholdKazzE is a splendid one to beholdKazzE is a splendid one to beholdKazzE is a splendid one to beholdKazzE is a splendid one to beholdKazzE is a splendid one to behold
Laugh? I nearly peed my self

A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.

The bee said, 'What seems to be the problem?'

'I'm out of gas,' the man replied.
The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

'Try it now,' said one bee.

The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. 'Wow!' the man exclaimed, 'what did you put in my tank?'

The bee answered,




Wait for it.wait for it..........












You're just gonna love this.............










__________________
Visa - MODL 136 Childcare Coordinator
1st TRA application, Nov 06, as a Childcare Coordinator came back positive as Hairdresser so...........

TRA ack 20/03/ app 27/04/07
Visa lodged 14/05/07
PC back 10/07/07
visa ack 14/08/07
C O 26/09/07 (11/09/07)
meds arrived 22/10/07
VISAs granted 14/12/07
KazzE is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-2008, 02:58 AM   #6 (permalink)
Stuju is
has no status.
* It has to be Purple *
 
Stuju's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: aug 06 Central Coast NSW
Posts: 3,095
Thanks: 33
Thanked 178 Times in 118 Posts
My Mood: Chatty
Stuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond repute
Kazze

I can't see the answer !!!!!!!!!!
it's not there
__________________
** Here There,Where Ever Be Happy**

Stuju is online now  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-2008, 04:56 AM   #7 (permalink)
moving2melbourne is
has no status.
PomsInOz Chatter Box
 
moving2melbourne's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 4,916
Thanks: 1,043
Thanked 1,963 Times in 1,294 Posts
My Mood: Worried
moving2melbourne has a reputation beyond reputemoving2melbourne has a reputation beyond reputemoving2melbourne has a reputation beyond reputemoving2melbourne has a reputation beyond reputemoving2melbourne has a reputation beyond reputemoving2melbourne has a reputation beyond reputemoving2melbourne has a reputation beyond reputemoving2melbourne has a reputation beyond reputemoving2melbourne has a reputation beyond reputemoving2melbourne has a reputation beyond reputemoving2melbourne has a reputation beyond repute
Sob neither can I, talk about leaving us in suspense!!!
__________________
www.moving-to-melbourne.co.uk
Helping New Migrants in Melbourne - Furnished Accommodation - Pet Friendly Accommodation - Airport Pick Ups
moving2melbourne is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-2008, 08:41 AM   #8 (permalink)
roma 1
roma 1 is
has no status.
Edit
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
hi , i can't see the pic either but am enjoying this thread, thanks,
gail x
ps stuju, passed that bed joke ( as i checked my emails yesterday i think) to my friends and they are all passing it on to thier mates) so you might get it back again lol. xxx

Last edited by roma 1; 01-09-2008 at 08:45 AM. Reason: addaed text
 
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-2008, 10:46 AM   #9 (permalink)
Stuju is
has no status.
* It has to be Purple *
 
Stuju's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: aug 06 Central Coast NSW
Posts: 3,095
Thanks: 33
Thanked 178 Times in 118 Posts
My Mood: Chatty
Stuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond reputeStuju has a reputation beyond repute
Quote:
Originally Posted by roma 1 View Post
hi , i can't see the pic either but am enjoying this thread, thanks,
gail x
ps stuju, passed that bed joke ( as i checked my emails yesterday i think) to my friends and they are all passing it on to thier mates) so you might get it back again lol. xxx
No worries Gail,

but if kazze dosent reply to the thread soon, im gonna have to pm her im in suspenders here waiting for the oucnh line to her joke !!!!!
__________________
** Here There,Where Ever Be Happy**

Stuju is online now  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Sponsors
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
bed, cake, joke

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Joke TheBrammies News, Gossip & Chat 7 20-08-2008 07:49 PM
Joke aussiewannabee News, Gossip & Chat 5 08-08-2008 08:47 PM
Joke 2 aussiewannabee News, Gossip & Chat 1 08-08-2008 07:55 PM
It's only a joke Aldo Chewing the fat 9 04-08-2008 10:37 PM
Joke Charlton Boy Chewing the fat 2 23-06-2008 10:23 PM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 07:41 AM.
no new posts