Another post by Kdal got me thinking about family. I'm very nosey and wondering how many of you guys have 'family issues' that are contributing to your decision to move to Oz? I know its kind of hard to admit, but if you search deep is there any underlying reasons for wanting to move to the other side of the world?
The thing is so many people on here talk about thier family very fondly, but i wonder if they are really that perfect and wonderful, why are you leaving them? I compare my family to other families i know, and think i may not be going if my family was like them...
I'll start the confessions:
Due to my mum splitting with her first husband i have 2 half sisters, who were seperated when they were babies. I grew up with one, but didn't meet the other till i was 18. I have fantastic relationship with my 'new' sister, but my mum and other sister don't, which causes huge tensions and unhappyness. Its unspoken unhappyness though, and makes being with my family very difficult for me. So if i'm really honest, i look forward to being on the other side of the world. If it wasn't for this i don't know if our other reasons to move to Oz outwiegh leaving my family. I love them by default, and i will miss them - but thats not enough.
So tell me, do you have any reasons to leave your family, or things that make it easier for you to go, or are your families perfect?
Is there such a thing as a perfect family? Moving to Aus is something we wanted to do - had a comfortable life in the UK but came to a point in our lives (nearing 40), that if we were going to do something different it had to be then. My dad is now on his own in the UK and I thought long and hard about leaving him - having visited my Aus previously, my dad knew what the country was like and felt it was an opportunity we should take (he also regreted not migrating as my mum wouldn't leave her family). I feel we're here now because my dad didn't lay a guilt trip on us - having visited us last year he tells us we've made a good choice. So a big THANK YOU to my dad.
Ali
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"POZZIE" - HAPPY AND LOVIN IT!
I'm sick of following my dreams, I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later
I grew up with a close family and my mum's house was party central, everyone was welcome and family gatherings frequent. We often had arguements and my mum, who was the lynch pin of the family, always smoothed things out. Then fairly suddenly 14 months ago, my mum died. And the family fell apart. My dad's new girlfriend is hideous. Sister drives me nuts and brother's wife is a witch from hell. 16 year old nephew is heading to prison if he doesn't sort himself out soon. I don't need the stress of trying to hold it together - which is kind of expected of me.
Since losing my mum I have realised that life is too short (she was only 61) I need to seize life with both hands and live it!
I'll miss them all from afar and if they want to come and visit thats fine, as long as they go home again!
I get on wonderfully with my ex-husband since he moved 5000 miles away, I'm hoping the same will be said about my family :D
Another post by Kdal got me thinking about family. I'm very nosey and wondering how many of you guys have 'family issues' that are contributing to your decision to move to Oz? I know its kind of hard to admit, but if you search deep is there any underlying reasons for wanting to move to the other side of the world?
The thing is so many people on here talk about thier family very fondly, but i wonder if they are really that perfect and wonderful, why are you leaving them? I compare my family to other families i know, and think i may not be going if my family was like them...
I'll start the confessions:
Due to my mum splitting with her first husband i have 2 half sisters, who were seperated when they were babies. I grew up with one, but didn't meet the other till i was 18. I have fantastic relationship with my 'new' sister, but my mum and other sister don't, which causes huge tensions and unhappyness. Its unspoken unhappyness though, and makes being with my family very difficult for me. So if i'm really honest, i look forward to being on the other side of the world. If it wasn't for this i don't know if our other reasons to move to Oz outwiegh leaving my family. I love them by default, and i will miss them - but thats not enough.
So tell me, do you have any reasons to leave your family, or things that make it easier for you to go, or are your families perfect?
Nosey Meg
Hi Meg,
I just don't know where to start.....however.......i love my family.......and they love me......i'm not sure if they are contributing to our descision........but it helps......does that make sense...???....sometimes i think that ....if only they had done this....or if our relationship was better.....would we still leave.......?????.......my husband and i have never had to rely on them......childcare......financially.....and yes......there are problems on both sides......as for perfect families.....mine is .....that is the four of us........because as long as we are together......xxx......one thing for sure is it has made our marriage stronger......and to me......that is good.........xxx.......i wouldn't have it any other way......
xxx
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Leighton(34) Luan(32) Annie(6) Mary(4)
Online 175 January 08.......we have a case officer..........!!
Dream as if you have forever. Live as if you only have today.
My Mom had me at 16 an I never new my dad. My mom died of cancer at the age of 53 and I have a younger sister and 2 younger brothers. My sister lives in Russia with her new husband and they are hoping to come to Oz when we are settled. My brothers, however are a complete nightmare. If there is an easy way to do something or a way that will cause a problem, they pick the problem.
Then, a couple of years ago, 2 daughters of my dads found me and I now have 2 half sisters I barely know. They are nice enough but I feel I dont really know them and have absolutely nothing in common with them. I feel awkward around them as we have such different lives. For me, I have worked hard, sold my business and house ready to leave for Australia. They, on the other hand, don't work, live in council houses and claim social/dole or whatever it is they claim. I see them look at each other sometimes if i mention a nice holiday we had, because I dont think they have ever had the same.
Because my family is so disjointed, I even got married in the caribbean so I wouldnt have to have them all together for the day. So, yes, I will be happy to leave most of them.
Don't know where to start here.
My Dad Left my Mum when I was 21 years old. Bad relationship in all quaters. Mum was not happy and neither was my Dad. Got back from a holiday one year (in Spain) to find my Dad had left my Mum for "another woman" Jes she was well ugly too!!!!
Ever since then my dad has put his "new" wifes children first, Christmas dinners with them every year for the past 10 years. Fathers Day they hold a big bbq for him and his actual children don't even get an invite. Have even tried to get it at our house but it has been going on for so long now that that we don't get a look in now.
Resigned that I have been replaced with a "new" family
So even though the unemployed baby machines out there that constantly churn out babies that will never know their Dad's, they have got my bloody dad and I want him back!!
Sorry for the moan but feel better geting it off my chest.
This is my biggest worry about returning to Australia because I do get on so well with my family. I feel if we didn't get on, the decision would be a lot easier to go. We lived in Perth and went out for a year partly because i am so close to my family, i felt that a year would be great and would get Australia out of my system!! Of course we absolutely loved it and reluctantly returned hoping we could settle back here.
My sister is moving to Yorkshire with her husbands job and my mum can now visit for a few months a year so we are returning.
My mum and sister are so important but you only have one life and my husband and my children should come first and they want to return.
Arlene
My Dad was a master criminal and made a successful living out of it for years. Unfortunately a deal went bad and he needed someone to set-up. I was in the firing line and went down for 3 years. Things have never been the same since then really. Only joking! All your posts are so much more interesting than my story and I just couldn't resist....sorry.
My parents tried to get into Oz back in 83' but unfortunately the new incoming Prime Minister changed the rules on imigration and he didn't have enough points. If things had gone to plan I wouldn't be here typing this post right now. Well...my Dad has encouraged all 3 of his kids to get out in the world and live our lives. He's happy if we're happy so I'm grateful for that at least. He only visits once a year as it is so moving to Oz probably won't make much of a difference really.
I can only imagine it must be harder for those families that are big and close (like the Waltons) because they're sure to miss that closeness aren't they?
Yep mine's not very interesting either because I get on well with my parents and this is going to be the defining factor for me as to whether or not I settle in Oz and basically why I have put it off for so long....BUT I now have a family of my own and am looking at it from a different perspective... as a parent...so feel I have to at least give it a go.
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Flying to Brisbane 1st September
speaking on a purely personal level we are not 'leaving the family' we are just going to be living in a different country from them, Im hoping that I will still speak to my mum every day and they are planning to come over for three months of every year to be with us, so we will probably see more of them than we do oer here.
Same goes for friends too.
It must be hard having family issues like some of you have described, I get on brilliantly with my family and although they were a little negative at first (stealing the grand children and all that) they have now come round to the idea, so I do realise how lucky I am!
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Five little kittens have arrived Amethyst, Topaz, Sapphire, Ruby and Emerald, but still no sign of Oli!TRA passed June 08 (woop woop) Now saving to pay all them there visa fees! Brisbane Aug 09 please!
