What A Year

[oldgit]

Well What A Year! Back In February 2007 We Made The Decision To Make The Move To Oz (well Apply For The 136 Visa) As We Have An 8 Year Old Daughter And Do Not Like The Future We That We Can For See For Her And Possible Grand Children Here In The U.k. My Wife Also Has Grown Up Children And After Talking To Them They Seem Very Enthusiastic And Positive About What We Are Planning To Do. After Listening To Them We Think It Is Highly Likely They Will Make The Move Away From The Uk As They Are People With Standards, Dreams And Ambitions. Please Don't Get Me Wrong Me And My Wife Are Doing This For Us As Well Because Looking A Little Into The Future We Cannot See This Country Getting Any Better In The Next Fifty Years Or So And That Really Scares Us. We May Be Wrong And If We Are Our Grandchildren Then Can Make The Decsion That Is Best For Them And Their Children As We Hope We Are Doing Now.

So Anyway I Passed My Tra As A Carpenter And Joiner And Submitted Our Visa Application And We Were Given A Case Officer. I Must Say It Did Not Just Happen, There Was A Lot Of Hard Work And A Lot Of Waiting Has Gone On To Get This Far. The Tra Was A Nightmare!! Last Week We Had Our X-rays And Medicals So Fingers Crossed We Are Hoping To Get An Answer In February As To Whether We Get The Visa Or Not.

Anyway I Keep Moving Away From My Issue. I Have Two Sisters Who Have Two Children Each. Over The Years Me And My Wife Have Justifiably Felt That My Parents Have Shown No Interest In Our Daughter, Their Grandaughter Which Is A Complete Contrast To What It Has Been Like For My Sisters' Children Which Saddens Me Because My Daughter Is A Lovely Warm And Caring Child.

We Have Recently Told My Mum And Dad And Sisters What We Are Planning . Shortly After We Were Told They Were Arranging A Family Holiday In Egypt (mum Dad Sisters Husbands Kids The Lot). Great I Thought! My Daughter Would Love It! Hey Guess What - We Are Not Invited. I Played Merry Hell About It And They Cannot See What The Problem Is . Now I Have A Mum, Dad And Two Sisters That Won't Talk To Me Or My Wife. We Just Want More For Us And Our Immediate Family .they Were Not Interested In Us Before So Why Are We The Bad Guys. What The Hell Did We Do?

Anyway I Would Just Like To Wish You All A Very Merry Christmas And A Happy New Year

Simon, Susan & Jessica

Ps. We Will Not Be Going To My Parents House For Christmas

[ali]

Hi Guys,

It sounds an all to familiar story, I can't work out how parents can treat their children and grand children differently but if happens. My hubbies parents are nice people, but they never once offered to baby sit our children (the last time we asked Alex was 3 and she's almost 13 now), whilst his brothers children stayed often, and one of the brothers used to go on holiday with them (built in baby sitter) and they looked after his son once a week. We felt like the black sheeps 'cos we never took advantage yet were treated very differently. In our last week in the UK the children slept at their house the night before the packers came - Tom was a bit upset our not being there and his grandma said "but you've slept here before" to which Alex said "no we haven't" - they didn't even remember they hadn't ever slept there. They're coming to see us in February - I did recommend January as the children will be off school and they'll see more of them - the children go back to school on the 4th and they arrive on the 8th!

I think you've every right to be upset, but I think they've missing out on sharing time with your beautiful daughter rather than your daughter missing out spending time with them. Families - who'd have em??

[Gollywobbler]

Hi Simon

I have no words of wisdom to offer you. There is simply no accounting for families.

I just wanted to say that my thoughts are with you, your wife and your daughter at this difficult time.

Best wishes

Gill

[monty]

I'm so sorry that your family are so unsupportive and it it is obvious from your post that you feel the impact of this on Jessica. Unfortunately that old saying you can't pick your family but you can pick your friends is true!!!! But what is also true is that you can't control other peoples behaviour but you can choose to control the way that you let their behaviour impact on your emotionl state of mind. Don't give them the satisfaction!!! A family holiday in Eygpt or a lifetime to explore the golden wonders of Australia. I know what I'd choose!

They are the ones that are missing out on sharing experiences with your lovely daughter. Don't worry about Christmas day celebrate Australia day twice (Jan 26th)!! It sounds to me that there very well maybe some jealousy from your sister anyway. It s quite common that people react in that way unfortunately a number of posts are similar to yours when family and people who thought you were friends are not able or dont want to be happy for you.

Sending you a big warm hug

Montyx

[Ron & Chel]

Hi Simon I take it your not going to Egypt then , sorry just trying to make light of it we r going through it my mother is great loves the kids to bits has baby sat when asked is 76 catches the bus 20miles away to come see them (i do take her back)would even have them to stay if they were older because of her age now, my older kids spent many weeks staying with nan and grandad (when he was alive) she even wants to move to oz with us to be near the grand children. Now my wifes mother lives only 15min down the road drives and has only seen them twice this year doesnt bother with them or us wife has a brother and sister who are as clicky as a crabs claw with the mother they have done this to my wifes older brother its like they ostrasize(sorry not shore on spelling) you from their little world my wife has told her mother fri night dont bother sending presents or money for xmas to her or kids cause she will send it back and as far as she is concerned she no longer has a family her mum said she didnt wont to get close to the kids cause we r moving to oz next year and it would make it hard she has never botherd the bloody kids are 9/6/3.5 so i would say to you dont worry about it life is to short you have a lovely life ahead of you and at the end of the day it is their loss not yours the life you are heading for is somuch better for the kids tha it is here in this bloody murdering sick over populated country oh yes can you tell i hate it here now its finished any way i must stop going on and go to bed good luck to you and all your family it will work out for you happy xmas guys

[Mrs Braveheart]

Hi Simon & Susan

Was it your sisters idea for the "family" trip to Egypt sounds like it to me. Do they honestly think it will make you feel jealous when you have a new fabulous life awaiting you all in Oz. Don't get me wrong my heart goes out to little Jessica & I hope they blatently do not show how you see them in front of her by leaving her out etc. It is their loss. I think they are very envious of you all & this is their problem you have done nothing wrong at all. Just think next christmas day you will be on the beach etc etc.

Janette

[Rachel&Stu]

Hi

To me, it sounds as though the rest of the family are a bit sad, upset and yes, even jealous that you're off to make a new life for yourselves. After all, I think that most of us would like to try a new country but lots of people aren't brave enough.

I think that if you could bring yourselves to wish them well in their holiday to Egypt, it might save some heartache later on, as if you burn your bridges with them now.....

I do understand how hurtful it is. My hubby and I are also 'on the outside' if you like of his family. I have learnt to accept it, though and so has he. In fact, it's making it easier for us to migrate.

Best of luck

Rachel

[oldgit]

Hi Guys
Just Wanted To Say Thank You For Your Responses. There Were A Lot Of Similarities With Your Experiences And Mine. Anyway I Have Stopped Feeling Sorry For Myself Now (apart From We Have Not Got Any Red Wine Left). I Just Needed To Sound Off A Bit And There Was Nothing On The Telly Either.

Wishing All Of You The Best Of Luck For 2008

Simon, Susan & Jessica

[Tyke]

Well I can't add much.

Time is a kind gentleman and may bring your family around eventually.
Yours is a familiar story I'm afraid to a lot of other people.

Best wishes to you and yours.:)