Racheyleigh Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Hi everyone, I know this may seem like a trivial post - but I've spoken to my parents about leaving my job I'm 28, been there 7 years) to go travelling to aus for a year or two with my other half. Basically my dad has told me I'm making a massive mistake and his disappointment has really upset me! He's worried that I'm leaving behind a good job and will come back to nothing. I don't want to live with regrets but I want my parents to be proud of what I'm doing PS already been rejected for a sabbatical Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aconcannon Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Aww I am so sorry to hear about your unsupportive parents but PLEASE do not let them put you off going and please don't feel bad! I am also 28 and went on a gap year to Australia with my boyfriend (now husband) back in 2007 when I was 22 and it's by the far the best thing I have EVER done as we are now emigrating to Australia later this year! I had exactly the same 'grief' from my parents when I told them I was packing my job in to go backpacking and they were pretty much completely unsupportive of the entire situation and I felt both guilty and unsure about going but as soon as I arrived in Australia I fell in love with the country, the people, the amazing weather & the attractive rates of pay and I am glad I didn't let my parents disapproval disappoint me - they are from a different generatio nto us where getting married and having a good job and a house of your own is all that's important - ignore them!!! Enjoy Australia and even if they don't admit they are proud of you, they will be :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Racheyleigh Posted July 7, 2014 Author Share Posted July 7, 2014 Thank you for that my parents are both in their late 60's and you're exactly right in saying they're from a different generation! My dad told me I should be thinking about kids etc now im 'nearly 30' not quitting my job, and save my money for a house....Me and my partner have visited Aus before (ironically to stay with my dad's twin brother who emigrated there 40 years ago!) and totally fell in love with the place and want to see so much more of it. I was feeling pretty confident in our plans until my dad started putting seeds of doubt in my mind... He also pointed out that my partner is younger than me so 'doesn't have as much to lose' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aconcannon Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Totally 110% boils down to the different generation issue then I reckon - my parents are early 60's (so not that far off from yours in terms of mentalities I would have thought) and again gave me all the same kind of talks that you are getting now, and funnily enough BOTH of my mums brothers emigrated over there in the 1970's so it's rather hypocrtical that they (same as your parents) seem to think it's not a wise decision to make - they aren't being overly supportive of us emigrating now either but you know what, seen as we're 'nearly 30' and should be acting all mature and responsible I think you should make your own decisions and not worry about them - easier said than done but you've got to live your life and not the life they want you to live :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aconcannon Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 P.S. Not sure what your line of work is but you should remind your parents that you may well get a sponsorship deal to stay in Australia with a really good company so the 'coming home to nothing' scenario might not end up even happening... just remind them how much better the salaries are in Aus compared to over here!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynsey Nicolson Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Best thing iv ever done was quit my job and go travelling! Travelled twice through thailand, cambodia and vietnam and then the following year decided to leave for Australia. Spent my two years meeting amazing people and having the time of my life. Now waiting on my 457 sponsorship. There isnt great job security in the uk any longer and whats to say that if you stayed and didnt travel that your job would be secure in the future? You have to take the risk and go for it. Lifes to short to not take the opportunity to do these things and you will only look back and think 'what if' It will be the best decision you made Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 As long as you don't expect your parents to pick up the pieces then suppose you have to use your own best judgment. Shame you couldn't get a career break, that's always a sensible option. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Racheyleigh Posted July 7, 2014 Author Share Posted July 7, 2014 I've lived over 100miles away from my parents for 10 years so I'm certainly not expecting them to help me out after! (I'm leaving a fair amount of money behind to set me up again when I'm back) I'm a multi site restaurant manager so Sponsorship is a very slim option although that would be the dream! To top it all off, just had a phone call from my other half ( we work together as well) saying that the general manager came and spoke to him regarding us going travelling (he knows as I applied for a sabbatical) basically satyjbg that there's promotions coming up and it would be a bad time for me to leave etc. how DARE he speak to my boyfriend about that! Unprofessional if you ask me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aconcannon Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Sounds like the company are keen to keep you onboard, which is flattering but definitely unprofessional of them to plant ideas in your OH's head in the hope it'll get back to you & in fairness if they aren't keen to let you take a career break then I wouldn't be so sure you'd get a promotion so don't let it tempt you to stay & not go travelling!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jac2011 Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I think its difficult for anyone to see what Australia can offer until you show them what you have in Australia that is better than the UK. As soon as I tell anyone about what Australia has to offer, I am given loads of negative views from people who have never or would never go to Australia! Follow your dreams, you only live once! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I think its difficult for anyone to see what Australia can offer until you show them what you have in Australia that is better than the UK. As soon as I tell anyone about what Australia has to offer, I am given loads of negative views from people who have never or would never go to Australia! Follow your dreams, you only live once! It's just another first world country! 6 of one, half dozen of the other! If you fancy an adventure then go for it. Nothing inherently magical about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Wish I could get my wife on here to answer but she was 27 or 28 when she did exactly the same thing with her then boyfriend giving up her career. She travelled extensively for the best part of a year before settling in Oz. resumed her career there and stayed for citizenship. Though the relationship eventually ended and she returned to the UK picking up her career again she and I are returning next year. She would tell you it was absolutely worth doing. At 28 you have loads of time to settle down (and I am closer to your parents age than yours). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Hi everyone, I know this may seem like a trivial post - but I've spoken to my parents about leaving my job I'm 28, been there 7 years) to go travelling to aus for a year or two with my other half. Basically my dad has told me I'm making a massive mistake and his disappointment has really upset me! He's worried that I'm leaving behind a good job and will come back to nothing. I don't want to live with regrets but I want my parents to be proud of what I'm doing Not trivial at all. We all care about how our parents feel. However, sometimes they don't know best. Point out to them that if you don't go now, you'll never be able to go, because the working holiday visa cuts off at 30. This is really your last chance to have an adventure, while you've got no ties, and you're young enough to start again when you return. Leave it any longer and (a) you won't be able to get a long-stay visa and (b) you'll have set down even more roots and it will be even harder to change jobs. I wonder if your dad is afraid you'll like Australia so much you won't come back? You could also explain to him that's very, very unlikely as it's so difficult to get accepted for migration - if your occupation isn't listed, there's no hope. I'm hoping your occupation isn't on the list so he will be reassured! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Show some compassion towards your parents.No one when they have kids expect them to be living 10,000 miles away when they grow up.Yes your happiness is important and you should go where you think you'll be happiest.Why not tell your parents you are going with an open mind (so you soften the blow).Its not giving them false hopes of a possible return,but really do you know 100% that you will stay in Oz?No right?So you are only being honest.Tell your parents you are moving now based on the knowledge you have at this time and how you feel,so you will have no regrets hon ok?Nothing is ever a mistake based on this.Good luck and I hope it works out for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LKC Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I kind of see where your dad is coming from, our parents generation looked at a job as something for life, and changing jobs or careers was seen as a bad thing to do. However, I don't think that a change of job, career or even a career break is seen as a bad thing these days and I wouldn't think that it would affect your future prospects in any way. I think this generational difference is also responsible for his concerns with regards to you settling down and having children. My mum was 21 when she had me and dad was 26. I didn't have my first child until I was 31 and my second until I was 32, and many of my friends were far older than this. It is just a change in lifestyle from one generation to another. I think that you should acknowledge your parents concerns, but reassure them that there is plenty of time for settling down and having children, but that that is the reason that you have to go travelling now, so that you can then settle down. Make them understand that if you don't do it now then you will never have the opportunity (due to the conditions of the WHV). I don't know whether your intentions are to move permanently (or even if you have the opportunity given the work you do), but really you should make sure that your parents understand that the WHV is really nothing more than an extended holiday, and that you will be back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramot Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Thank you for that my parents are both in their late 60's and you're exactly right in saying they're from a different generation! My dad told me I should be thinking about kids etc now im 'nearly 30' not quitting my job, and save my money for a house....Me and my partner have visited Aus before (ironically to stay with my dad's twin brother who emigrated there 40 years ago!) and totally fell in love with the place and want to see so much more of it. I was feeling pretty confident in our plans until my dad started putting seeds of doubt in my mind... He also pointed out that my partner is younger than me so 'doesn't have as much to lose' Well not all of us are fuddy duddies in our late 60's. Background is the relevant factor. If you have never moved around whatever your age you have a different mind set than those of us who have travelled. i went to live in Africa on my own as a single female in the 1960's and lived to tell the tale. we have lived in several countries and decided to retire in Oz with no family here as we were up for new experiences in our "old age". we joke that we keep moving further and further away from ourchildren, who we love dearly, but they keep finding us!! It's your life not your parents, and we have never stopped our 3 from following their own path. You should as adults make your own decisions, be they right to wrong. as for picking up the pieces , well sometimes as parents that's what we do. 2 out of our 3 have moved and lived in other countries and then moved to Oz, the other has stayed put in UK. Each has made their own choices which as adults they should. Live life to the full whatever you decide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith and Linda Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Well said ramot, my parents (in their 80's now) though they themselves have lived in the same house for nearly 60yrs now, have always encouraged us to do our thing, indeed they would be more upset if they thought we did/did not do something because we were taking them into consideration, they are happy as long as we are happy, and we pass this on to our own children now. 4 out of the 5 siblings have traveled and lived in various parts of the world, and our parents have reaped and enjoyed the benefits of subsidized world travels which otherwise they would never have done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si T Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 For what it's worth we didn't move to Australia until my wife and were both 40. We left everything behind and started again on the other side of the world. My point is that you have plenty of time to settle down so simply do what you feel is right and two years is hardly going to be the end of the world in terms of your future. At the very least you can look back in thirty or forty years and remember the experience you had even if it never turned into a permanent thing. Good luck and remember that your parents are simply worried about you. Talk to them and explain why you want to do it and hopefully in time they will come round. Quoll, I respect your views but can you tell me any parent, you and I included who would not help their child pick up the pieces if an honest decision they made didn't work out as planned? No matter their age. Good luck Si Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I've lived over 100miles away from my parents for 10 years so I'm certainly not expecting them to help me out after! (I'm leaving a fair amount of money behind to set me up again when I'm back) I'm a multi site restaurant manager so Sponsorship is a very slim option although that would be the dream! To top it all off, just had a phone call from my other half ( we work together as well) saying that the general manager came and spoke to him regarding us going travelling (he knows as I applied for a sabbatical) basically satyjbg that there's promotions coming up and it would be a bad time for me to leave etc. how DARE he speak to my boyfriend about that! Unprofessional if you ask me! I've had more jobs and changes of career than you can shake a stick at. Job security is a thing of the past and it's like bribery what your company is trying to do. If they valued you enough to think about promotion they wouldn't be so inflexible about giving you a year off to travel. Don't burn your bridges though and get upset with them, leave on a good note and get a good reference, you never know when it will come in handy. Maybe your parents don't want you to go 'cos they'll miss you. Even though you live a fair way away they know that you are still close, compared to what you will be travelling. They might be being selfish but they aren't going to tell you that. If your other half is up for it too I would be organising your trip and getting excited about it. Good age to go travelling.:cool: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wanderer Returns Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I know it's a bit of a cliché but generally we regret the things we didn't do in life rather than the things we did, that didn't work out quite right. I wanted to do the 'big trip' when I was in my 20s and bowed to parental pressure at the time. In the end I did it after finishing my degree when I was 32. I had a wonderful time except that I felt a bit old as most other travellers seemed to be in their mid 20s and my father died whilst I was in Australia - both situations would've been avoided if I'd followed my instincts and gone when I was a bit younger. I went on to emigrate and have been in Oz for 11 years and my only regret is that I didn't do it 10 years sooner. The only downside you may experience is that once you arrive here, you'll have such a great time that you'll not want to go home! Do it now before it's too late (and while you're still young enough to get a working holiday visa). Martin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thinker78 Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Parents worry about their kids at any age, and when you are a parent you will see this. Your dad must see the job situation in the UK (and it's certainly not glorious here at the moment either) and worry about your return. However, travelling is certainly something to be done whilst you are young and child free. It is so much easier. We only get one life and you are still young enough to take a risk and I'm sure all will be well on your return to the UK- you've got money behind you and plenty of experience. Do not come out here with any expectations of staying ( you never know, but best realise that it may be hard to acquire sponsorship etc) and just enjoy seeing the place. Australia is wonderful place to travel around- living here is a different story which many may attest to. But, for now, just have a great trip! I did my own WHV at 28 and I do often think about the choices I made; I don't regret them certainly but choices have impacts longer term- hey, my parents have had 4 wonderful holidays in Australia because of my choice at 28 so there you go! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Yep go for it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Racheyleigh Posted July 8, 2014 Author Share Posted July 8, 2014 Thanks for all the positive responses guys! My parents have now rescinded their offer of looking after my 2 cats now that I'm not taking a sabbatical as originally hoped but leaving my job altogether.... They knew by doing this I would have to halt my plans because I ADORE my cats and I have to make sure they are well looked after by someone I know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisher1 Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 How incredibly petty! I think your parents must be desperate to try to keep you here if they resort to those sort of tactics - try and look on it as a temporary blip that will pass when they've had time to cool off. I'd just like to add my voice to other oldies and say that its not about generation, its about individual choices. I don't understand the staid image some people have of sixty year olds ... we went travelling even in the sixties and seventies, mostly with very little back up or money. Some people wanted to get a job, spouse and house in more or less that order, some didn't. I'm sure your parents will come round, but if they don't, you should still go. Try to keep communications open - they are still your parents and whatever wonderful times you have, you'll miss them and believe me, they will miss you. If you don't go, you'll struggle with the resentment for a long time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainR Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Sadly, in some respects you are making a selfish choice by going off travelling for 1-2 years to the other side of the world, and may possibly even stay here... But, that's a selfish decision that you have to make and many of us on here have had to do that and more. Ii am a similar age to you and my parents have found it hard not seeing me and my kids, but the reality is that you have to live your life. Also, if it's any consolation, if I was recruiting for a position and had two identical CVs but one had been travelling world wide, I'd probably consider that person more independant and flexible and be inclined to favour them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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